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Patanjali Sokaris

Pondering the universe

Decades of growth

There are many ideas about how we grow up, and this is my take on the process from my own observations.

Psychology is trying to come to grips with how we grow from child to adult, and the processes involved. Writers from Noam Chomsky to Ann Ree Colton have all contributed their ideas based upon their research.

I have observed that a personality seems to develop its aspects with a decade roughly apportioned to each stage within it, though there is overlap between them. Also, development of each stage doesn't stop, but the large core of it seems to be within its decade.

Note that these are largely separate from our connection to our inner wisdom, which will define how effective we are at each of the stages.

Child - Physical ^

From the moment a child is born, it is trying to take charge of its physical environment.

Children are trying to manipulate the things around them, and express their frustration when their efforts fail by crying, hoping someone else will do it for them.

Their bodies grow from the tiny to something most of the way to their final height and form, with the major growth in the first few years.

They may get upset, but that emotion is not identified with. It is a tool to get things done for them.

Teens - Emotional ^

In the pre-teens and teen years, people identify with their emotions.

This stage is about how they experience emotions and gradually learn to take some sort of control over them.

To a large extent, it is a time of owning emotions and being them, as an experience in itself. This is why how one feels is very important to teens, especially since they do not have much more to work with. They learn some reasoning, but their anchor is their emotions. It is the 'reality' from which they reason.

20s - Mental ^

Having achieved some control of their emotions, by the twenties, people are ready to develop their mental faculties.

Compared to emotions, the mental level seems to offer a whole lot of possibilities. People are ready to explore ideologies and what they have to offer. It seems as if there is nothing that is not possible.

By the mid-twenties, there begins the realisation that while there may be an infinite number of possibilities, one is not capable of achieving them all. The earlier stage was about stretching one's mental faculties as if there were no boundaries, but is now replaced by the practical concerns and limitations of physical life and responsibilities.

Near the end of the twenties comes the Saturn return, which is about making choices about one's future and letting go of those things and attitudes that will impede that.

30s - Integration ^

Having the three parts of the personality built up as much as they are going to be, it is time to bring them together.

Of course, in earlier stages, one will have been integrating the prior stages to some extent, but now one has the capacity to start consciously and willfully directing one's emotional and physical bodies in a concerted way. It is a time of integrating the bodies into an effective whole.

Many will have jobs that require all of their being, pulling together all of their resources to achieve particular ends. Many will improve their people skills, enabling them to direct others towards the same goals.

40s - Mission ^

With an integrated personality, time is ready to embark upon the real purpose of one's life.

The forties are a time when one knows what one is capable of, and so one has a fair idea of what is the best work they can be doing. It is a time of making one's stamp on the world, having a strong sense of mission/destiny.

Through learning enough about themselves and others, one can work with some wisdom, becoming more effective.

Maturity ^

Normally reaching the twenties carries an expectation of some level of maturity, but there is still much to learn.

People in their twenties can often react and act on impulse. Without a developed and stable mental body, it is hard to effectively direct one's efforts. There are still too many non-cooperating moving parts within one's personality.

Maturity is not just about experience. It is in having enough anchor points in one's sense of self to keep emotional and mental balance when confronted with life's challenges.

This means that in some circumstances we can be mature, and act with some certainty and balance, whereas at other times we can overeact, be emotional or otherwise act immaturely. Those parts of us that did not completely develop in earlier stages will undermine our efforts, but we can make choices to be better people, and work on ourselves, consciously.

Note that maturity is not an indicator of wisdom, self-awareness or level of empathy, but just how certain one is of who one is, which might just be clouded by delusion. However, one would normally expect a person to gain some of these extra qualities as they go through life, but it is not guaranteed.

TS: art-a 3ID: 2018-12-02-08-12-09Now: 2020-12-04-22-49-08Powered by: Smallsite Design©Patanjali SokarisManage